Ever since my wreck those thoughts have magnified.
As time goes by the days get harder and harder.
The reality of never living with an arm again is just more real. I know that sounds crazy, bust some nights I just wish it wasn't real and I could wake up from this nightmare.
I look at myself in the mirror and think how could anyone love "that".
When I go out in public, the stares feel like knives going into my heart. It's almost like all those thoughts seem true because if they weren't they wouldn't stare.
I feel hopeless and just plain weak.
A few days ago right when I got to work I started to have a meltdown. I just started to cry out everything that was on my mind. I do not think I have let ALL of my feelings out in a very long time like that. I felt like I just needed to pray. But to be honest I didn't even know what to say. Then this song came on the radio.
How cool is that!!!
I am learning daily to surrender. I am learning that I do not have anything to measure up to, and God just wants me to be the woman He created me to be.
God is constantly teaching me or reminding me things daily.
I am also realizing the more I am in the word the easier the day will be but also I am becoming more aware of how the enemy attacks me.
It is so amazing how God has given me strength to complete each day because honestly some days I don't feel like I can get through. He gives me the peace and just wraps me up in His arms and gives me the love I need to succeed.
People constantly ask me how I do it. Truth is I don't. Christ does. I couldn't even imagine going down this road without my Father, and honestly I couldn't even if I tried.
I have struggles, yes, but man I am so thankful to go on a journey that I get to learn about how real the love of Christ is.
God is SO good!
Romans 8:6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.
