I have been set free.

This past week has been an insane week.
I drove for the first time, AND I am now driving around!! Whoohoo! I can't even begin to tell you how awesome it was to drive for the first time! I felt so accomplished, and so strong.

To be honest, those emotions didn't last long.
I was in my parents room, and I just all of the sudden broke. Everything that I had been storing up just poured out. Those feelings of sadness that I had been pushing back came at a downpour.
I could feel the anger rising. Anger that I had never felt before. Honestly thoughts of just wanting that guy that cut me off to know the pain I go through day by day.
I felt so weak. I just felt like I couldn't be strong or at least act like I was anymore.
Honestly , I was getting upset with myself for the way I was feeling.
My parents and I started talking about the awesome things this journey has brought.
In that moment I realized I was under attack and I needed to start praying. So as we were talking I was trying to pray and fill my mind with the joy of Christ. It was so cool because I know the truth and It truly did set me free.
The things I have learned about my Father I wouldn't of learned if I had not gone through this.
The experiences I have had, like getting to tell people about His story, I wouldn't of had such a platform to do so carelessly.
The peace that I feel daily, knowing that I have hope, it is one of the greatest feelings in the world.
I honestly wouldn't change a thing. I have learned that loosing a arm is so worth it, because my relationship with Christ has grown, strengthened, and the realization that He chose me to be His daughter is so much greater.  He has given me such a heart for the lost that it truly does fill me with sadness knowing people will not know Him as their Savior. 

When I got into my room that night the realization of how satan can attack so easily just was real in a different way. We need to be ready. We need to be filling our minds DAILY with His words and be in constant prayer because if we are not we have given satan an opening to pull us away. It is so crucial through life because in the good or bad you can always see the greatness of Him if you are devoted.

As I am sitting here writing this my heart is so overcome with joy knowing that my chains are gone and I have been set free. It just brings a smile to my face thinking about what God has done.
He gives me strength, and He gives me the ability to conquer things that wouldn't be so easy if I didn't have Him by my side!

Whether or not I have my left arm, I am the daughter of The Most High. Nothing else really matters.
Because the He is so much more powerful than anything on this earth. So when I am under attack, I know if I call on His name satan doesn't stand a chance.

Isn't God just so awesome! I am so in awe of Him!! God is good!

I am forever grateful.

I am so in love with Christ.
My heart is hungry and thirsty for His words. I desire His love more than anything because I know I can't be satisfied without it.
I can't go throughout a day without talking to my Father.
I feel so inadequate for this gifted life. So unworthy to be a chosen child of the King of Kings.
Why me?
I sit here wondering why God chose me for this journey.
I can honestly say I don't know and I do not understand why. I struggle with it daily. The pain, the grief, the judgments, and a new life it all seems too much.
What I do know is, He gives me hope.
In the midst of my grief, I have joy. I can't even begin to explain it to you.
While I cry, I can feel His arms just hold me tight. I know He is there.
I have peace, and it really does pass all my understanding. I have no idea what this crazy life will bring, but for the first time in my life I have no fear. I know that because God has brought me to this point, I know He can get me through anything.
I can't even begin to describe to you the passion and desire I have to share Christ.
It overwhelms me with sadness to know that many people will not celebrate with me in the hope that Christ gives us.

I can't imagine going through this without Him.
I wake up with grief, questions, and sadness.
I fail. I trust my ways are better.
I tell myself lies, thinking that I am worthless. I stare at myself in the mirror wanting my arm back so badly.
That is why I am humbled God chose me. Because He could of chosen any other person, but instead He chose me.  A flawed one-armed young woman with fear and doubt, to share about a flawless God in ways many people can't.

I am able to share my story everyday.
People watch, they judge, they stare, and some even ask me how it happened . It is such a huge platform to share the awesome grace, peace, and joy that Christ gives.
In those moments God gives me the confidence to moves mountains. He gives me the words to say when I don't know what to say, or when I feel sad because of my new life.

I can't explain it.
This is not me, at all. Truthfully I don't have any desire for it to be me. I could care less if people remembered my name or what I looked like. All I want them to remember is that there is hope in this crazy life, and there is NO way you can get through it without Him.

I am so thankful. I just feel so humbled right now.
Man, we serve an AMAZING God!

GOD IS GOOD!!