In Your hands.

When I am in the car driving I like to take advantage of being alone.
A chance to talk out loud to God by either prayer or just jamming out to Air1.

So, like every other Sunday I got in my car to go to church and cranked up the music. I was singing loudly as always and not really paying attention to what I was actually saying.
Then a song that I hear daily came on called Lift My Life Up by Unspoken. I started singing then all of the sudden I couldn't. I started to truly listen to what I was saying.

"I lift my life, lift my life up. I give it all in surrender. 

I lift my heart, lift my heart up. You can have it forever, 

All my dreams, all my plans, Lord I leave it in your hands."

I stopped. I couldn't say it. 

I thought to myself: "How can I sing this, if I don't believe it? Do I really want to give it ALL? Forever? No. I do not."

The world is scary. No matter what I do, the future is not what I plan. 

So, I can give most of it, but let me hold on to a small part. That way if it doesn't go how I want it to, I can somehow have control. Because I never fully gave it to You anyway. 

Foolish.

Selfish.

My flesh was on fire. God quickly cooled me and reminded me of truth. 

Yeah, this is a scary world but it was designed by a God who already knows my future. So how dumb is it for me to think my ways are better when I could let it all go and hold my Creators hand, the one who holds my life. 

That's why we surrender. The daily battles are no worries, if He is on our side. 

No matter the outcome, He is victorious. He's already won before it even started. 

What's even cooler is that despite how selfish I am, He loves me. He chose me. 

My failures humble me more each day to know God loves me. Because honestly y'all I am wicked. 

But God. 

He chose to redeem. He chose/chooses to turn my failures into realizations of how awesome He is. 

I am glad all my dreams and all my plans are in His hands because I wouldn't of chose this life. This life, this journey, has made me realize He is enough. No matter what happens, if I am willing to let go, it will be smooth sails in a storm because He is guiding me. 

Clearly, I still fail, BAD. But as I am learning, Surrender is key. 

When I surrender, He fights my battles and is everything I will ever need. 

"I give it all in Surrender. All my dreams, all my plans, Lord I leave it in your hands."

What's there to fear, I mean God's already won. 

Right? 

God is good y'all. 

Chronicles 20:17

"You will not have to fight this battle. Take your positions: stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out and face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you."