09/26 - A day I never imagined

There are certain things in your life that you will never forget. It may be a random detail, like what your Great-grandfather pranked on a random lady in the K-mart. Or it could be huge, like knowing you will never be able to play with your little brother you were so excited about getting because he passed. Those moments, those memories, those smells, they helped make you into the person you are right now. 

My whole life I have been in various trials that have forced me to fall onto my knee's in prayer and surrender because I could not go on alone. So weak and broken that nothing could satisfy my soul more than the love of my Heavenly Father.

September 26th was like any other day. I got up, got ready, and left for my two classes. 

I had Math in the morning and Composition in the afternoon. 

My Comp. class ended at 3:15 so just in time to go to Sonic for happy hour. I got my usual, Vanilla Coke. I was going to go home and do some homework before Bible Study. 

My A/C didn't work so I had the windows down, and was jamming to J103. One of my favorite songs had come on, 10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman, and I was singing at the top of my lungs.

I was in the left lane, getting ready to get in the right lane. I turned on my blinker, looked in my mirrors, looked behind me, and I started to go. 

As I started going the car right behind me swerved fast in the right lane, and went back right in front of me forcing me to slam on my breaks. My car then turned towards oncoming traffic. 

It was perfect timing that I was going to go straight into the side of the car coming towards me. In that split second I thought, I know I am going to heaven but I don't know about them, so I swerved right and hoped for the best. That is all I remember. 

I was told that my car went head first into a pole and my car flipped over the guardrail and flipped a few times 

stopping right before the Tennessee River. 

The man I almost hit, swerved over and ran out. The ambulance and many people were there in an instant he said. They were saying there is no way I could be alive, and as they were about to pronounce me dead, they heard me moan. 

There he saw it, what would change my life forever. My left arm had been cut off. He took off his shirt and wrapped what was left of my arm. I was responsive, and talking to him. I asked him "Did I loose my arm?" and He said "Yes." I had a big cut on my back that was bleeding bad, but I hardly ever bled from my arm being cut off. They not once, had to give me blood. I went straight into surgery where the cleaned out my arm and closed my back. This is all that was told to me.

The next thing I remember is seeing my mothers face, and the man I nannied for (My dad and brothers were in Asia trying to get here as fast as they could). I remember saying "Mom, I know my arm is gone." I vaguely remember my pastors face and other family members but my memory isn't real clear till the 29th which is when I had my second surgery to close up my arm. 

Those first days were extremely awful, I was in so much pain. On top of my arm pain, I had a broken shoulder and back.

I remember holding my dads hand and my mom rubbing my head as I moaned and screamed in pain countless times. My whole body ached and was in shock. I would go to do stuff and realize that I couldn't and I would just sob. The only thing that would calm me down was praise music. ( How awesome!)

I had so many visitors. The love and prayers that I felt were over and abundant. I was able to leave the hospital October 3rd. That was when reality hit. I walked into my grandparents house and saw my reflection and broke down.It was a painful sight. So many painful thoughts, and realizations I didn't want to believe. I remember feeling an overwhelming peace, which I often felt in the hospital. I felt as though God was holding me and saying "I know you do not understand, but I have a plan."

To be continued...